I cannot keep track of these days.

I don’t love the OPTIFAST products, and I am having a very difficult time with eating them.  I am also struggling hard to stay within my 1200 calorie goal.

Previously I was eating 21-2300 calories a day.  In March I brought it down to about 1700, this OPTIFAST and medically supervised plan says 1200.  I am over by a hundred points nearly every day.

I have this notion that fresh food is healthy food, and pre packaged food is not healthy food.  This belief is, without a doubt, causing me problems.

I find it hard to believe that an OPTIFAST shake is better for me than a banana, spinach, avocado  and non fat Greek yogurt one.  That adding water to the strawberry one is best when I want to have a cup of unsweetened almond milk and four strawberries just to make it palatable.  And I am already dreaming of a tablespoon of peanut butter in the chocolate one to make it semi edible.

In my mind I am saying these foods added to the shakes are making it healthier.  And without the addition of fresh fruit and vegetables they are less healthy.

Also why are we still saying that a LOW FAT diet is best for us?  Why are we saying that a few seeds, nuts and avocado in our food is bad?   I thought we decided about 10 years ago that this is actual what is making so many American woman fat, is NOT eating enough of it?

I meet with the nutritionist today and we have to have this conversation.  About my mental block with fresh foods, and about not having fat in my diet at all.

I think about food all the time.



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