I feel pretty, oh so pretty

Several months ago I bought a pair of pants one size larger than the other pants I had from the same designer, but man they were so tight, and I hated wearing them because I was yanking on the waistband all day.

Today they feel awesome, and I have had to pull them up a couple of times.

And earlier this week, I had my secondhand store, second hand black leather jacket, that I could not button two months ago, and I was able to button it.

I am so happy for this.

But more than that I am happy for this diet.  The all bars and all shakes diet was not good for me, because it did not teach me to eat properly and I felt like crap physically the whole time I was on it.  Perhaps the constant loss of potassium was not helping.

I still indulge in pizza once a week, I have to, and dark chocolate chips for dessert each night.  These are indulgences I do not wish to live without.  At the beginning I said, ugh I have to give up coffee, craft beer, pizza, snacking, potatoes, bread, pasta, beans….But I have realized that I can live without most of it.  Especially now that I am eating healthier and not having the joint pain and the bloated feeling.  Although I am sleeping like I haven’t slept in years, literally; I fall asleep at 830-9 and sleep like the dead til 6 and am still tired.

I returned to the coffee, I drink it black so what is the big deal.  I replaced the craft beer with seltzer for now.  And am drinking about 1/4 of a beer when the fiance shares with me.  (He is the best guy!)  And white wine on the weekends.  Once a week I am eating regular pizza, but only a couple slices and no wings.  I had sauteed zucchini, mushrooms and scallions earlier this week instead of mashed potatoes.  I only miss homemade bread and biscuits a little.  I have begun eating beans again, because without them I was not getting enough to go to the bathroom, and now that I am pooping again, I am losing weight more quickly.

The appetite suppressants are a godsend.  Honestly, I hate taking drugs and I hate that I have to use pills, but it helps to get through this difficult phase of LOSING weight if you don’t feel hungry all the time.  I am on my second bottle, and at some point I will cut out the suppressant in the morning and just do evenings and weekends, which is my hardest times for wanting to stuff my face.

And to help with my pizza love, I am making cauliflower crust, and to help with my Mexican food love, I made a delicious sweet potato and oat crust and put beans and homemade salsa on top and a small amount of soy cheese.  Cut it into multiple servings and mmm.  So tasty.  The diet says NO sweet potatoes, but they are so healthy and so filling and so tasty that I decided that it is okay.  as long as I am not eating a whole one every day.  I just used two and shredded them and made basically eight servings worth.

Today I feel pretty.  I mean, I am half a century old, and fat and short and a little crazy, but today, I feel good.