So the final amount lost, last time I was at the doctors office was 15 – 18 pounds. Not sure because my mom convinced me to weigh myself at home and it was back up again by that scale like two days later. I got so angry, I cannot believe I let her talk me into it. And this is why I don’t weigh myself at home, because I was barely eating anything because I was sick and the medication made me lose my appetite. The last two weeks I am obsessed with food and am eating way too much, and feeling guilty after eating. I feel disgusting. In the mornings I am pretty limited on food, I work in an environment where eating is pretty controlled, cannot leave for lunch so I have to bring my food for the day. I do okay, but as always once I get home I am hungry and basically cannot stop myself from eating. I ate three slices of pizza one night. We had a food festival at work and I ate way too much then went home and had a slice of pizza for dinner. After 7 or so I snack on pretzels or graham crackers, yesterday I ate Doritos, I had tortilla chips the previous week (made a taco salad thinking it was better than a tortilla and then ate about four servings of chips, one serving on the salad and then ….) And of course it is summer so I ate ice cream twice last week. And was sleepy one day and needed a coffee to make the drive and bought a muffin too, even though I had had a lite breakfast already. UGH. Why am I so weak?
And why don’t I walk anymore? It was always such a pleasure but I just don’t even want to. At least if I was walking or doing yoga I would be burning off some of those calories. I am so exhausted, some days I feel like I am going to fall asleep driving home. Almost every night I fall asleep either by taking a nap or in a chair, and I cannot wake up after. We had company drop by last night and I could not rouse myself from sleep. My mom kept harping at me and I had to have a cup of coffee, I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
At work I am also tired, I feel like I am walking through sludge all day. Just wiped out completely. Is this all part of healing from the bowel infection? Is it a symptom of not being on medication for depression? PS not depressed, just unbearably tired.