here we go again

I have been on Keto now for about a month.  I have had some cheats I guess, i have had two bananas, three yams split up between two of us, a few potato chips, three twizzlers, two carrots split between two people, a handful of croutons, and a bean dish once a week (lentils, black beans and white beans one can each (cup of lentils) split two ways.

And every Saturday we have been getting like cheese sticks and fried mushrooms and jalepeno poppers for dinner.  Tommy eats wings.

He has lost so much weight it startles me everytime I look at him.

I think I have gained weight.

I kid you not.

What the fuck.

What the actual….sorry i am so mad.

Also I have been working out in a hot water therapy pool twice a week for an hour.

I am depressed.  Seasonal Effective Disorder, forgetting my low level dose of antidepressant a couple days a week, chronic headaches, disgusting Keto mouth, dizziness, and not losing any damn weight.  Why not eat bread and pasta?

Please explain this to me.

I am getting gastric bypass.  I will talk to my doctor about it this week at my physical.

I am sooo upset.